So I was reading through my old entries and I'm kinda thinking.. what the hell did you do.. when the hell did I go wrong?

For all of 2009.. it seems all I'm doing is binging and occasionally purging with a laxative.. To say the least it's got me up to a huge weight. I'm wayy too embrassed to even think about posting it..

For the past couple months I've been trying to "trigger" myself out of these bad behaviors.

About 4 days ago, I almost fasted for 3 whole days.. Then I binged on the last day.. and then today (the fourth day) I ate kinda normal for once.. At least for me.

To make matters worse I have a very unreliable gym friend. She put me as a guest on her account when I asked for information on the gym, we have to go when she says b/c since I'm a guest I have to go when she's there, and we're seeing the personal trainer that she likes..

I've talked to her about this multiple times, at least twice, but she won't listen to me. It's so irritating to me b/c I'm paying her $85 a month and I sometimes can't even go b/c she says she has to leave early and I need to be here as soon as I can b/c she's going to bed early.. It's all about her..

However, my hubby is wonderful to me. I feel like such a fat lard when I look at him though. I used to weigh a 100 pounds less than he.. Now I'm as large as a brick house..

I'm not sure if I'm going to start posting regularly or wait til I'm at least what I said I was in earlier posts.. But I know one thing.. I'm so ashamed.. So once again, when the hell did I go wrong..?

 

 1. Do you have a tattoo?
2. How old are you?
3. Are you single or taken?
4. Eat with your hands or utensils?
5. Do you dream at night?
6. Ever seen a corpse?
7. George Strait or Jay Z?
8. How did we meet?
9. What's your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be?
11. Do you trust the police?
12. Do you like Country music?
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. Would you cheat?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. Do you sing in the shower?
22. What's your favorite color?
23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
25. What was your first impression of me?
26. Have you ever done drugs?
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?